Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
When are your genitals available?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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