Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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