I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
