i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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