Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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