I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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