Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
