did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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