She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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