I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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