I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
