Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
