probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize