just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
