a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
