Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
