so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
