I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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