there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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