..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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