Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Randomize
