why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize