yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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