Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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