Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
farters have to be the big spoon...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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