And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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