we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
