is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
