I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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