Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
