Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
