Christians are straight up FREAKS
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
