What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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