Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
