420 ftw
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
