I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
