Duck Duck Cougar?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
