Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
