its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
