I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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