She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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