I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
