he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
