She's JV to your varsity
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
