that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
