i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
