She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
