Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
