They should really pass out barf bags in church
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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