I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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