you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
