I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
