Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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