It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
