WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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