I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Semen is not good for contacts.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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