I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Randomize
