so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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