awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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