i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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