i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
This beer is not sobering me up at all
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
