Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
