4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
