Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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