I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
