if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you inspire me to be a worse person
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
