Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
