I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
