Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
