i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
