Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize