I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Actions speak louder than pants.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
