Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
