how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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