the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize