So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
